


The City Of Broken Hearts.

by Wearenotalright



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 18:54:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2358620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wearenotalright/pseuds/Wearenotalright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It felt like I was numb the entire time Gerard was marrying Lindsey, like I was stopped in time. I knew it was happening, because I saw it, but I didn’t hear anything. I didn’t hear their vows, or the pastor say his typical words from God and marry the two. I didn’t hear anything, I just saw their motions. Lindsey looks beautiful in her white dress and Gerard looks handsome as fuck. </i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Heartbreak Is Forever sequel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The City Of Broken Hearts.

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Heartbreak Is Forever. You can read it here if you haven't:
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/2283408

"Gerard is getting married, dude." Mikey said to me with empathy in his voice. I kind of didn't hear him though. I only heard my heart breaking, all over again.  
  
Gerard and I haven't talked in months. Ever since he came to my house and told me he was sorry I found out about his stupid date. He wasn’t sorry about anything else, just because I found out about his fucking date. I haven't spoken to him or heard from him since. But I get updates, thanks to Mikey.  


I didn't want to believe he was getting fucking married. He never wanted to marry me; I don't even know who the hell he's been dating, to be honest. How did he find someone to marry so quickly? I don't ask Mikey and h"Gerard is getting married, dude." Mikey said to me with empathy in his voice. I kind of didn't hear him though. I only heard my heart breaking, all over again.  
  
Gerard and I haven't talked in months. Ever since he came to my house and told me he was sorry I found out about his stupid date. He wasn’t sorry about anything else, just because I found out about his fucking date. I haven't spoken to him or heard from him since. But I get updates, thanks to Mikey.  


I didn't want to believe he was getting fucking married. He never wanted to marry me; I don't even know who the hell he's been dating, to be honest. How did he find someone to marry so quickly? I don't ask Mikey and he doesn't tell me. I finally got over him. Sure I was alone but I wasn't hung up on Gerard. Now I’m back where I started and I’m back at rock bottom.  
  
"What do you mean? We only broke up 4 months ago." I dryly said back, looking inside in the inventory book, trying my best to look uninterested.  
  
"Said he knows this is real," Mikey mumbled back, shrugging his shoulders.  
  
I only nod my head and keep looking at the paperwork, licking my dry lips a little. I don't want to really show any expression about this cause than it will seem like I care or something. I don't want Gerard to know I give a shit about him. He doesn’t deserve to know that someone out there loves him so much; he doesn’t deserve to know that I care so much.  
  
I'm actually really angry. I'm so fucking angry at him. How does he feel so strong for something after a few months? He was with me for fucking years and he always pushed marriage aside and never wanted to speak about it. He starts seeing a new person for a few months and he wants to fucking marry them? Way to make me look like a goddamn fool, Gerard Way. I spent so many years with him for what? For nothing at all, it was all a lie. He clearly never loved me and it sucks because I’ll always love him, as much as I don’t want to love him. I want to hate him. I can pretend to everyone that I hate him but deep inside I’ll know inside my disturbed heart that I love him and I will always love him, and I hate myself for that.  
  
Even if I wanted to say anything I can't even form words because I'm so angry, so betrayed. If I wind up talking it will be some gibberish that no one will fully understand because they truly don't know what I am feeling. I can feel my face get red and hot and my heart is racing like it's on its last stand and I might actually die from a heart attack or something. Either is not good. I have an anger problem. It usually causes people to refuse to tell me things because they are scared for my reaction, I’m actually surprised that Mikey told me about this because he knows probably better than everyone how badly I can just snap out of any moment.  
  
I hate that about myself, I hate even more that it's who I am and can't change it.  
  
"Sorry, Frankie," Mikey says filling the silence with empathy in his voice.  
  
"Don't be," I said quickly, "good for him."  
  
"He's marrying Lindsey." Mikey said as if he already knew I wanted to know who it was.  
  
I snorted, "he's gay; tell me how can he be marrying her?”  
  
"Apparently not for her," Mikey said dryly back to me, not looking at me anymore.  
  
If I wasn't mad before I'm sure as fuck mad now. My entire relationship I had with a man for years has been a complete and utter lie. It wasn't real. How was it real when the <I>girl</i> he wants to fucking marry has been around us for the entire relationship. Was she waiting for the perfect time to get Gerard to herself? Was this her little plan? I was so livid. So angry. I could see only red and thoughts of murder. Murder. Killing them both in revenge for what they've done to me.  
  
But have they really done anything to me? We've been broken up. He entitled to date whoever he wants. So is Lindsey. And she's a very sweet and lovely girl. She never meant any harm to myself. She didn't mean to hurt me and I know that. I know Gerard didn't mean to hurt me, either. It doesn't change that I'm really hurt. They didn’t mean to hurt me, I know they didn’t. Gerard still cares about me. I know he does. He’s just clearly in love with….Lindsey now. Lindsey’s a nice girl, too. She’s super sweet and always helped us out when Gerard and I were fighting. She’s always been there. I know she didn’t mean to fall in love with Gerard. She’s a damn lucky lady, though. This is going to kill me for the rest of my life.

I stay quiet the rest of the time at work with Mikey. Lost inside my own thoughts; everything that I’ve heard about Gerard. Truth be told I will never get over him and breaking up with him was the worst decision I’ve ever made in my entire life. I didn’t try to date but I did try to forget about him. It’s hard when his little brother works with you so I get some daily Gerard Way updates daily on what’s going on with him. Sometimes I like updates. Sometimes I don’t like them. Sometimes I just want Mikey to shut up about Gerard because I’m trying everything in my power to forget about him, but then sometimes I want to know what’s going on in his life. I don’t ask Gerard himself because then I’ll look weird and crazy. At least with Mikey telling me everything it just looks like I’m being a good friend listening to his friend talk about brother. Just so happens his brother is my ex.

 

“Hey, can someone help me?” I heard a female voice fill the store from my thoughts and I look up and I see the girl who I helped a few months ago, Jamia Nestor.

“Hey, Frankie,” she smiles and walks closer inside the store, “what’s up?”

I smile back at her, it’s nice seeing a smiling face and someone who barely knows my ex so we don’t have to talk about him. She also has a very pretty smile to keep me distracted.

“Hey, hun,” I said back, “what are you doing here?” I ask, mentally slapping myself right after asking her. Of course she’s here to see you, Iero. Idiot, she’s looking for a record!

“I’m bored with my CD collection,” she replied laughing mostly at herself. “I need some new stuff.”

I nod my head and leap over the counter, Mikey is looking at me like I just did something wrong and he’s waiting for me to fix it and I’m really confused as to why he’s looking at me like that.

“Well, what do you like?” I ask, guiding her over to all the CDs I have in my record store.

“I’m into anything punk rock, basically.” She said back and I felt my heart leap and I smile brightly at her, “what about Jawbreaker?”

Her eyes light up, “I love them; I haven’t bought any of their albums, though.”

I go over and I find a Jawbreaker album and I hand her it, “well, now you do.” I said with a smirk.

“Thanks!” she said happily, “hey, every time I come in here, you always know exactly what I want, it’s great. You want to do something sometime?”

I can feel my heart freeze, is she asking me out? What should I do!? I look over at Mikey for approval, Mikey just nods his head and goes back to reading a random music magazine he’s reading. I can feel my cheeks turn red. I’m extremely shy and she’s making me feel sweaty and I have no idea why. I’m gay, I don’t like girls. Maybe it’s because she’s a really cool girl; with great music taste. She’s pretty funny and kind of dorky. With a lovely smile…yeah that’s what it is. She’s just a really cool girl, and I’m this weird nerdy guy. Why would she want to hang out with me?

“That would be cool,” I managed to finally say to her, “hey Mikey, when is Gee’s wedding?”

Mikey shot up from his reading and looked at me with wary eyes, “next Sunday.”

“Great,” I said, “Jamia, would you like to come with me to a wedding next Sunday? I don’t have a date or anything, and I would love to have a beautiful girl like you to join me,” I said with a new found confidence, there’s something about this girl that makes it so easy to be myself around her. I’m usually nervous around everyone, but I’m not really around her.

I saw her blush and she said she would love to join me for Gerard’s wedding. “Here’s my number,” she said handing me over a paper with her cell phone number on it, “hopefully I’ll see you before next Sunday.” She said with a smile, leaving the store. My heart is racing.

Mikey immediately comes over to me the second Jamia leaves and smacks me on the back of the head, “what the hell is wrong with you?!” He yells at me and I just shrug.

“What?” I said.

“Not only did you just invite yourself to your ex-boyfriend’s wedding, but you invited a date to go with you!” Mikey screamed back at me.

“What does it matter?” I snapped back, “he’s getting married, and I do care about him, Mikey. I want to be there for him. Jamia seems like a nice girl, so why not have her come with me?”

Mikey snorted back, “you’re so fucked up, Frankie. Did Gerard fuck you up that badly?”

 

 

Jamia is the perfect distraction I needed to help me forget about Gerard. We’ve been hanging out almost everyday and we don’t do much, but I like it that way. We just hang out and talk about life, about random shit. We listen to music, go out to eat. It feels nice to have a friend again that I can hang out with like this. I have no worries when I’m hanging out with her, I know I won’t get upset because she brought up Gerard in some way. It’s nice having someone to talk to every night before I go to sleep, laugh with. I would usually include Mikey in those, but lately all he talks about his Gerard and I don’t want to hear about him, I want to forget about him.

It’s almost like Mikey is making sure I don’t get over his brother. When I’m with Jamia we don’t talk about him at all. It’s almost like he doesn’t even exist and it’s just her and I against the world. I feel like I’ve known her a long time, like we’ve been friends before. We have this amazing connection that I can’t even explain if I wanted to.

With Mikey, all he ever talks about is the older Way. It hasn’t always been like this either. We used to almost never talk about mine and Gerard’s relationship when he and I were together. Now Mikey can’t go a day without speaking about his brother in some way or another. It’s pretty annoying, too. I know I’ll never get over him and I’m starting to be ok with that, but I’m trying everything I can do to forget about the one that got away. Hopefully, one day Mikey can understand that and shut the fuck up about his brother and what’s going on with his brother’s life.

Before I know it, Sunday is here and it is Gerard’s wedding day. I can feel regret filling inside me, I wish I never invited myself now. I can’t go back now; Jamia even bought herself a new dress and she said I should feel lucky because she never wears dresses. I’m happy I’ll have her there with me, if I was going to shatter my heart at least I have her there to help me along the way.

They’re not having a big wedding, something a little simple. I can expect that from him, too. Gerard doesn’t like big fancy things, he likes to keep it simple and keep it low key. He doesn’t need to invite everyone in the world to his wedding; he invited all the important people in his life. I already knew this without anyone telling me. We aren’t at the church yet but I know this out of him. I know him better than anyone and that will be something that will never change.

I pick Jamia up in my beat up car. I tried really hard to clean up, but I basically live inside my car so it’s hard. I’m not a total slob but I always seem to leave extra clothes in my car due to changing in my car so much. I had a few empty Starbucks coffee cups on the floor. I cleaned all the garbage off the floor. I didn’t vacuum or anything but I tried really hard to make it nice so Jamia doesn’t have to feel like she needs to shower after we get out of my dirty car before we go into a church.

I pull up to her house and she’s wearing a baby blue strapless dress; it goes a little above her knees. She’s wearing a black shawl over her dress. She has black flats on with a small bow on the shoes. Her shoulder length brown hair is ironed straight and her make-up is light and almost not there; not like she needs it. She’s beautiful without it. Her dress is tight around her skinny frame, she looks so lovely. I almost can’t feel myself breathing. She completely took my breath away.

“Hey,” she says climbing into my car, “nice, you cleaned!” She laughed.

“Well, I tried,” I replied back, “you look great!”

“Thanks,” she mumbled looking down at her dress like she forgot what she was wearing or something, “you look good too. It’s weird not really seeing too much of your tattoos.”

I ran my hands through my hair and laughed nervously, “yeah sometimes I can clean up well.”

We drive to the church in silence with the Ramones playing. I catch myself peaking at glances at Jamia and I instantly blush. She’s looking out the window, tapping her fingers on her legs to the beat of the songs playing. She knows every song that I’m playing, I can see her mouthing the words to the songs and she looks adorable while doing it. She’s not even looking at me but I can tell she has a smile on her face and that gives me a smile too.

We finally get to the church and I feel like I’m going to throw up. Jamia knows the wedding is for my ex-boyfriend and she’s being the supportive friend. I truly don’t know what I would without her. She’s been so good to me, hearing me cry, hearing me get angry. All the shit, she’s dealing with it and she’s still my friend. Our friendship grew fast in over a week; I can’t picture my life without her.

I tend to do this, I tend to cling to a person and I don’t want to let them go. That’s what happened with Gerard, too. I clinged to him and I didn’t want to let him to until I had no other choice but to let him go.

I can feel my breathing shorten and I’m trying my best to turn off the car when we pulled in. “You need some time?” Jamia asked rubbing my shoulder.

“I think I’m going to find Gerard, get some closure,” I whispered, not even looking at Jamia.

“Okay,” she replied giving me a hug, I’ll go find Mikey, find me if you need me,” she said kissing my cheek slowly. Her soft lips on my cheeks eased me a little and I turn to look at her and smile, getting out of the car.

I find myself feeling like I’m in a bad 90’s Lifetime movie. The ones where the guy tries to find the girl he dumped on the day of her wedding with her man, searching every door until he finds her, looking flawless, in her wedding dress. She’s looking at herself in the mirror. She looks up and she sees the man that once broke her heart standing there, a total mess but also looking at her in awe because she looks so beautiful in white. At that point he realizes that he’s happy for her, that she’s happy and she found someone to make her so happy that they plan to spend the rest of their lives together. He leaves with a heavy heart but he knows he’s doing the right thing by leaving her. Letting her live her life the way she wants it, even if he’s not in it anymore and it’s another man.

But I don’t find Gerard in front of a mirror in a white David Bowie suit looking flawless. I find Gerard in one of the rooms at the church, though. He’s sitting on a couch, with a black and white suit on and he’s writing something down in a notebook. He doesn’t look up, his eyes are completely focused on the notebook like his life depended on it.

He doesn’t notice that I’m in the doorway looking at him, “hey, Gee.” I said finally and Gerard looked up at me almost scared because it was so silent and I just invaded the silence with my voice.

“Frank? Why are you here?” He said putting the notebook down slowly, looking at me. Fully aware now that I didn’t come here on impulse; that I’m here in a suite. I came here to watch him get married to Lindsey.

“I came here to –“ I breathed in deeply, “I came here to see you get married.”

Gerard didn’t say anything, he didn’t even look at me, “I’m sorry.”

I stepped closer to him, “don’t be sorry, Gerard. I’m – I’m happy for you. I’m glad you found someone you can marry. Even if it isn’t me, I’m still happy for you. All I ever wanted out of you was for you to be happy. If Lindsey makes you so happy that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, than I want to be there to support you and tell you I’m happy for you.” I managed to tell Gerard, heavy breathing following. My heart feels heavy.

“Wow…Frankie,” Gerard whispered walking over to me, “you know, you’ll always have a place in my heart.” Gerard is now crying silently and that’s enough for me to start tearing up.

“You too, Gerard,” I said in a broken tone, tears fully coming down my face, “I’ll always love you.”

Gerard pulls me into a tight hug, we’re crying on each other, “I’ll always love you too, Frankie.”

“I was so mad last week,” I choked out, “about you and Lindsey.”

I can feel Gerard pulling me closer into a tighter hug, “I was just so mad,” I went on telling him, “I felt like you never loved me or cared about me.”

Gerard pulled away from our embrace and looked at me, his eyes red from crying, “hey – I’ll <i>always</I> love you. No matter what, Frank. You’ve saved my life, remember?” he laughed back at the memory, a few more tears rolling down his face.

I sniffled, “yeah, I remember you telling me that. I’m glad I saved you, Gee.” I whispered.

“You’re always going to be in my life, Frank. I want you there.” He said with his hands trembling.

We stayed silent after that, both of our heads down on the ground, looking at our cheesy dress shoes that we are wearing. I’m still crying silently with a heavy heart and a stomachache. I finally got to spill my heart out to Gerard and tell him everything that I’ve been waiting to tell him but I couldn’t. When I was angry, I wanted to tell Gerard I don’t wish him the best and I hope his marriage fails, now that I’m here in front of him, I don’t wish that on him. He’s such an amazing person and he deserves nothing but the best. I hope now that he and Lindsey have a long and beautiful life with each other, I’ll smile even if it hurts.

“This is the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do.” I whispered filling the silence, abandoning us from our thoughts.

“What is?” Gerard replied back to me, looking at me with sad eyes.

“Watching you marry someone who isn’t me. I hope you nothing but the best, Gerard. Lindsey is a lucky woman.”

With that I left. My eyes are blurry because I’m crying again and I can’t even breathe. I ran my way to a bathroom and I go inside. Happy to see no one is in here and I start pounding on the walls, punching the tiles and mentally cursing at myself because I’m pretty sure I just broke some skin. I feel like I’m going to throw up and I hunched over to the toilet and managed to throw up the little food that I ate this morning before I picked up Jamia.

I get out the stall and I wash my hands and my face to try my best to make sure I don’t look like a total wreck and that I’ve been crying my eyes out to my ex-boyfriend who I’m about to watch get married.

I made my way to the room and I spot Jamia next to Mikey, they both look over to me with sympathy and give off a small, caring smile. I smile back and walk my way over to them both.

“How did it go?” Jamia asked, grabbing my hand, pulling me into a hug.

“I would be lying if I said it went well,” I laughed at myself. “But we’re alright. I’m going to be alright.”

Jamia smiled and kept her fingered interlocked with mine and Mikey patted my back and left to go up to the altar. I’m assuming Mikey is the best man.

It felt like I was numb the entire time Gerard was marrying Lindsey, like I was stopped in time. I knew it was happening, because I saw it, but I didn’t hear anything. I didn’t hear their vows, or the pastor say his typical words from God and marry the two. I didn’t hear anything, I just saw their motions. Lindsey looks beautiful in her white dress and Gerard looks handsome as fuck. They both have smiles on their faces that I’ve never seen on them. It was nice to see them both so happy. Gerard’s eyes have a sparkle in them, like the sparkle he once had when he and I first started to date. It’s nice seeing it on him again, even if the person isn’t me.

I’ll never forget Gerard as much as I want to. I’ll always hold our memories close to my heart. I’m excited to see his new life with his wife and see his happiness for the rest of his life. It’s nice to see some good in this giant mess.

My heart sank when I saw Gerard place the gold band around Lindsey’s left ring finger. I held Jamia’s hand tighter and she let me. I focused on Jamia’s hands and stopped listening to the words being said at the altar. I just looked at Jamia’s hands and held her tight.

I heard the entire room cheer and clap and I look up and I see that Gerard and Lindsey are now sealing their new life together as husband and wife with a kiss.

“Are you ok?” Jamia asked, turning my head to look at her and I smile.

“I’m actually, really good.” I said looking at Jamia and studying her beauty.

Jamia and I leave a little after the ceremony. My heart doesn’t feel so heavy anymore and I feel like a new person. I feel happy. I didn’t even have to turn my head to look at Gerard before we left to change out of these annoying clothes.

“I can’t wait to get out of this dress!” Jamia yelled the second we left the church and I laughed at her.

“Me too.” I said back, leaning against my car lighting up a cigarette.

“Yeah, you look funny in a dress,” she said giggling at me standing next to me, taking my cigarette.

“Asshole,” I mumbled, digging through my pocket getting another cigarette.

I inhale the smoke and I watch the smoke go up into the air and I let the fall weather take over me, feeling a gust of wind hit the Jersey air and I notice Jamia looked really cold.

“Here,” I said offering my suit jacket, putting the black jacket over her shoulders. She looks pretty adorable in my jacket, I had to admit. I couldn’t help but look at her and take in her beauty. It’s like no matter what she’s wearing she will still look absolutely beautiful. Her personality makes her even more beautiful. She’s so carefree and she’s so funny. She puts up with me and I can’t thank her enough for being there in the small week that I’ve been hanging out with her. I love how she’s not a typical girl. She’s just a cool girl who doesn’t really act like a girl. I catch myself always looking at her when we hang out.

“What?” She bluntly said, noticing how I’ve been looking at her, “something on my dress?”

I didn’t say anything to her; I just looked at her still with a small smile on my face. I leaned forward, letting my heart do the motions for me for once. Letting my heart speak for myself; I leaned in and I gave her a small kiss on her lips.

I felt like all my energy was taking out of me with such a small kiss. All the emotions I endured today, this emotion of happiness is hands down the best emotion I’ve felt all day. Between getting the closure I needed from Gerard, the tears I shed today, the anger I felt with being so upset. This happiness is nothing like I’ve ever felt. It just feels right, it feels like my lips were meant to be on her lips.

Everything just seemed to make sense after I kissed her. Everything made sense and everything that I went through made sense as to why I had to go through it. I understand that everything happens for a reason and now, I can see the reasons why.

“What took you so long?” Jamia whispered as she pulled away from the kiss.

I didn’t say anything at first, just looked in her eyes, “I wanted to make sure this was real.”

In that very moment I felt my heart repair itself. I feel my heart becoming whole again. These past few months have been so shitty for me I never thought I would be happy again, never thought I would smile again. But here I am – smiling and happy as ever. In a weird way, I can thank Gerard for this. If it wasn’t for him, I would never have learned so much about love. He taught me so much. He taught me how to start a new chapter of love with someone. I did with him for years. I wrote my chapter with him, and even though the chapter of love between Gerard and I is done doesn’t mean I can’t find someone else to write a new chapter with.

“Thank you for giving me my heart back.” I said looking at Jamia’s beautiful hazel eyes, going in for another kiss.


End file.
